Crush
by VampireQueenAkasha
Summary: TFP: The funny thing about crushes is sometimes people get hurt in the end. Airachnid's little crush on Breakdown causes her to visit Knock Out constantly for medical help. He suggests OTHER methods to correct this... Hilarity ensues.


**Crush**

**Disclaimer: **I know. I know. Breakdown's dead and gone. (As far as we know. LOL). I decided to do a silly little fic that came to my head as I was walking into town. (Don't ask). Anyway, I thought it would be funny to post this goofy fic just for shits and giggles. Also for **Lecidre** on Deviantart just because she was heartbroken for Breakdown's death. As was I. "A little humor spice makes everything nice", I always say.

_"Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate."_

-Unknown Quote

_"Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare."_

-Rene Descartes

**By: VampireQueenAkasha**

_"How about I hog tie you and haul you in?"_

-Breakdown

_Nemesis_

Airachnid wasn't impressed.

Ever since Breakdown had dragged her back to the underside of Megatron's leadership, she had been frustrated and angry. Although a temporary arrangement was suitable if she wanted to get in close to the leader, her mind was always on that blue, hammer-wielding idiot. It wasn't like her to always have a mech on her processor, especially one as dimwitted and clumsy as him. It had to be something physical. Maybe she was sick.

Megatron's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Airachnid!" he snapped.

She blinked and looked up at him. "My lord?"

"Were you not listening just now?"

Airachnid looked around at the watching Eradicons and Breakdown was staring at her skeptically. She gave an impatient Megatron a small smile and bow. "If you would permit me, my lord," she said, "I think I should visit the infirmary."

"What for?" Megatron growled.

"I might be catching something," Airachnid said.

"Fine. See to it immediately," Megatron ordered.

Airachnid gave him another bow and left the central control room. Once she was out of sight, she gave herself a frustrated curse. "Primus, don't be an idiot!" she told herself, "You're acting like an over-energized school femme! Stop it!"

Then, she sensed optics on her and looked up, spotting an Eradicon staring at her silently. She glared at him threateningly.

"What are you staring at?" she snapped, walking down the corridors.

Knock Out was in the infirmary as always and luckily, there was no one else around. Though Airachnid hated the thought of being alone with him, she was glad that at least he was the doctor and could help her understand what was wrong.

"What's the problem, eight legs?" Knock Out asked, looking slightly bored as always.

"I have a problem," Airachnid told him, walking passed the doctor and sitting on a table.

"I could have told you that." Knock Out quipped.

Airachnid glared at him. "Cut the slag," she snapped, "There's something seriously wrong with me."

Knock Out sighed and stepped close to her, but just far away enough to avoid any particular problems. "Okay. And what would that be?" he asked.

"This," Airachnid told him, holding out her arms, showing him that they were slightly shaking, "They won't stop shaking. Everytime I'm around your idiot assistant, I get stupid. It's not like me to act like this and I've never been this way since I was a small femme on Cybertron just learning to talk. I'm ordering you as Megatron's lieutenant to make these stupid feelings stop."

Knock Out jerked back when she thrust her hands in his face before he frowned. "Wait. My assistant? Do you mean Breakdown?"

"No. I mean Unicron," Airachnid snapped, "Of course, Breakdown!"

Knock Out looked surprised for a few moments before he smiled. "There's nothing wrong with you," he said, "You just have a little crush on him."

"What?" Airachnid snapped, putting her hands on her hips, "That's ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous, yes," Knock Out replied, amusement lighting his features, "But I'm afraid this sort of situation can't be corrected with medical injections of any kind. Perhaps if you would simply talk with Breakdown, that might-"

"Are you joking?" Airachnid snapped.

"Well, uh..."

Airachnid stood up from the table and began to root through his tools. "Surely there's something that can fix this situation."

"There isn't," Knock Out insisted, stopping her, "Now, you can either forget about this or talk to the big idiot. It's up to you."

Airachnid grudgingly tugged her hand away. "Fine. I'll just forget it!" She started to go, but turned and got up in his face. "If you breathe a word of this to ANYONE, your head will become my personal property. Do you understand?"

"If it gets you out of my way, then yes," Knock Out shot back.

Airachnid left the infirmary with a little bit of hope in the idea that forgetting it would be easier.

O

In the cycles that passed, Airachnid's mind constantly trailed to Breakdown. Forgetting it didn't help matters at all. If anything, it made her encounters with him even worse. She constantly complained to Knock Out about having him "correct" her "sickness" and gradually, it began to wear at the doctor's patience. He caught up with her in the corridors and pushed several Eradicons in his way, ordering that they leave so that he could talk with her alone.

"You're being utterly ridiculous!" Knock Out snapped, throwing his arms in the air, "You act as if Breakdown has some kind of-"

The two hushed as soon as Breakdown walked by, holding a cup and spooning some gooey treat from it before shoveling it into his mouth. He had caught the end of Knock Out's words and looked at them curiously.

"Breakdown has some kind of what?" he asked, chewing, "What are you ladies talking about?"

"Nothing." Airachnid snapped.

Knock Out gestured to the door of the infirmary. "Wait in there, Airachnid. I have something that will help."

She disappeared without another question and Breakdown looked down at his friend with a clueless look on his face. "Is there something going on around here that I'm not supposed to know about?" he asked, somewhat suspiciously now.

"Breakdown, perhaps you should go in there and talk with her," Knock Out suggested, rubbing his forehead wearily.

Breakdown chuckled and took another bite of his treat. He made disgusting smacking sounds with his mouth plates as he chewed and some dribbled down his chin. "Nah. It'll have to wait until I'm done with my snack." he told him.

Knock Out's optics narrowed. "Maybe what's going on in there is more important than you stuffing your face."

Breakdown laughed sarcastically and continued to eat. "I doubt that."

There was a brief pause. "Breakdown, how would you feel about an Energon snack bath?" Knock Out threatened.

Breakdown stared at him with a small, awkward smile, considering that threat before he nodded with a challenged grin. "I'm open to it."

"You go in there and talk to her," Knock Out ordered, thrusting a finger in the direction of the infirmary, "She's been driving me nuts these past few cycles. I can't take a single step out of the infirmary without her talking nonstop."

"And this affects me, how?" Breakdown asked, skeptically.

"It's about you."

Breakdown's optic ridges rose. "Oh..."

He quickly finished the snack with unattractive grace and stepped into the infirmary. As he did, Knock Out quickly keyed in the override code, locking them both inside. Breakdown whirled and angrily beat on the door, glaring out at the doctor who pretended like he couldn't hear him.

"Hey! Knock Out, let me out!" he spat.

Knock Out mouthed, "I can't hear you" and gestured to his own audio receptor with a broad smirk on his face.

"Primus, Knock Out; when I get out of here, I'm going to twist you into a knot!"

"Sweet talk will get you nowhere, big guy," Knock Out said, calmly studying his claws like an organic would their nails. "You're not coming out until you and the spider lady talk."

Breakdown growled furiously. "Talk?" he shouted, "Are you short on logic circuits?" He paused and scowled. "Knock Out? Knock Out, I KNOW you can hear me! Primus slag it, Knock Out, I'm not kidding around!"

Airachnid was sitting on the table behind him. "Oh stop it," she muttered, "You know once that menace sets his mind to something, it can't be changed."

Breakdown sighed impatiently and reluctantly took a spot beside her. For the moment, they sat there together in silence, a wide space between them. Breakdown's optics wandered around the infirmary in a distracted manner before he began to fidget with his thumbs. He took a deep exhale of breath and glanced upwards. Being in the same room with her on a more personal basis was a bit more uncomfortable than he thought.

"So..." he began, awkwardly.

Airachnid was watching the wall beside her. She said nothing.

"You, uh...you fight pretty good out there," Breakdown tried. He winced at his terrible attempt at starting a conversation.

"Oh? Thanks." Airachnid replied. She paused before continuing. "You too."

He laughed sheepishly. "Thanks."

They were silent again. Breakdown started making popping sounds with his mouth. He attempted to lighten the conversation and uncomfortable atmosphere a bit by looking at her with an almost goofy smile.

"Hey, Knock Out has a stash of high grade in here," he offered, "Want any?"

Airachnid shook her head. "I already had a drink. I'm fine."

Breakdown rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Okay. Just thought I'd, uh...throw that out there."

Airachnid murmured in response.

Once again, they were silent.

Breakdown reached behind him to a container without looking. "Well, I'm thirsty anyway," he said, "I'm going to drink this-" He took a big gulp before spotting it out and crying out with disgust. His features twisted. "Oh Primus, that's not Energon!"

Airachnid looked at him in surprise. "What is it?" she demanded, throwing her hands in the air.

Breakdown looked at the label before he let out a yelp and tossed it to the floor, getting up and rushing to the sink. He tried to lean his head in the water to rinse his mouth, but that didn't work and he yanked the hose up, spraying into his mouth with a groan of disgust. Airachnid watched him from her spot, grimacing at the pitiful sight as he grabbed a scrub brush and started scrubbing the inside of his mouth.

"Breakdown," she said.

"Mm-hmm?" he murmured, looking at her with his mouth filled of water and the scrub brush.

Airachnid made a face.

O

After a few hours had passed, Knock Out had left the infirmary doors and returned to check up on them. He smiled and keyed in the code. Just as he did, Breakdown was sent flying through the door with a yell and crashed into the wall beside him. He groaned and fell flat on his back. Knock Out looked stunned and turned as Airachnid stepped out of the infirmary, smiling with pride. She looked at him and gave a wink.

"You're right, Knock Out," she said, "Talking certainly helped. I feel a lot better."

She sauntered off and Knock Out bent down to Breakdown, laughing. "What the slag happened to you?" he asked.

Breakdown growled and threw his arms in the air. "That's it!" he snapped, "I am hereby swearing off femmes forever!"

"What happened in there?"

Breakdown scoffed. "One minute we were talking," he said, "The next we were yelling. Then we were talking AND yelling. Then, we were talking, yelling AND throwing things. One thing led to another and here I am. Flat on my back in some ridiculous way." He threw his arms in the air. "Again!"

Knock Out smirked. "Well, look on the bright side; at least she's feeling better."

"Oh, I'm happy for her!" Breakdown snapped, rolling so that he could stand. He loomed threateningly over the doctor. "And know what would make ME feel better? Kicking your aft for locking me up with that psychotic she-killer!"

Knock Out brushed the threat off with a wave. "Oh, come now, Breakdown. Don't act as if she's not your type."

"No. She's not!" Breakdown snapped, starting to walk away, "Now excuse me while I salvage what's left of my pride in a shot of high-grade!"

"Not too much!" Knock Out called after him.

"Buff me!" Breakdown called back.

"No thanks!"

Breakdown angrily stormed into his quarters and grabbed a container of high-grade from his private stash before he took a spot in his berth and sighed. He put an arm behind the back of his head and sat there in silence before chuckling softly.

"She's not half bad." he said to himself.


End file.
